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Kiss Heckler (#1)

June 28, 2011

Kissing is inescapable, even for the unkissed. From the time that we’re young and react to kisses like the grandson in The Princess Bride (“Hold it, hold it…Is this a kissing book?”) to the time we’re a little more mature and interested in kisses like the grandson in The Princess Bride (“What? What?” “Nah, it’s kissing again. You don’t wanna hear that.” “Well, I don’t mind so much.”), we can’t help but observe kissing.

Sometimes, however, the kiss doesn’t quite go right.

Do you remember a 1994 movie version of Little Women? If not, that’s just fine. Here’s a handy link. Go ahead and skip to minute marker 1:16 or so, and watch out at marker 1:18. Actually, have an umbrella handy.

I was a teenager when I saw that, and I was a bit horrified by the lovely sunlight sparkling romantically off that glistening spit thread. All I can do is wonder what the director was thinking to accept that take. A classic story beloved by a young female audience, and the director saw fit to leave sparkle spit in that kiss scene.

I know, I know, realism and all that. But a movie isn’t reality. A movie can give a young, impressionable mind some serious concerns about kissing spit whiplash.

Actually, I have a haunting memory of a much, much worse case of sparkle spit, but I can’t remember what movie it was no matter how hard I try. It was another period movie, I’m sure of that, but I just can’t bring it to mind. If I ever do manage to recall it, I might skip posting about it. It was bad.

Upcoming in this blog: Another first kiss story. I’m also hoping to be able to announce the charity this week. 🙂 Everybody I’ve talked to wants to know, and I’m very anxious to be able to announce it.

7 Comments leave one →
  1. June 29, 2011 9:50 am

    Is that … Winona Ryder? What a professional. Working with some bastard who doesn’t like her, who loogies her up on camera, she just keeps on trucking, and in a fake 19th century voice affectation, too! OR, she continues without interruption after she lubes up her co-star in a vain and vindictive attempt to throw him off his lines. Very frisky, those two, like kids playing at tag with thorn-covered switches. I bet that was a fun set to work on. Or maybe they were under direction. The director yelling, “No! No! Passion and possibility! More spit, more spit!”

    • June 29, 2011 4:11 pm

      LOL @ “More spit, more spit!” You’re pro at saving your snappiest jokes for the end of the comment.

      That is indeed Winona, and she’s acting opposite Christian Bale.


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