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A kiss for cancer

August 24, 2011

I had a request: My friend Erin asked me to blog about what I want the money from my belated first kiss to go to and why. DJ Virginia takes requests, so here’s one for you, Erin.

Regarding the charity, at the very beginning, I shied away from taking the hard road, the personal road. I was going to do something simple and benefit a charity related to food, shelter, or some other basic need. However, a little voice in the back of my head was telling me, “Hey, you. Yeah, you with the missing backbone. You know what this should really be about, so do it. Ya pansy.”

The first charity that I approached, the one that was going to be my way of going easy on myself, declined to participate. The little voice in my head became a scream. “DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!”

I took a long, careful look at the hard road. I put a foot onto the road, and I didn’t crumble. Then I leapt forward and started running on it.

I want to benefit a non-profit cancer society. This is the hard road for me because it means I have to face up to emotions and loss that I could otherwise keep safely tucked away in a corner of my soul where they’re easier to handle and carry.

My dad died of prostate cancer in January of 2009. Two and a half years later, I can barely stand to write that sentence. This was the man who carried me on his shoulders to church on Sunday mornings when I was a little girl, and I saw him slowly experience his life getting stripped away one piece at a time. Energy, taste, strength, freedom from pain, weight … pieces of a man, stolen. He faced it so bravely that I can’t feel grief without an overwhelming pride in him bubbling up to coexist with the grief. The pride makes it hard to cry.

One of my four older brothers, Eric, was diagnosed with leukemia in March of 1992, and he committed suicide that day. I was 10 at the time. Eric was only 22. Eric was, in a word, cool. He taught me to love soccer, Greek myths, and the sound of a harmonica. When I think about Eric, I always wonder what he would think of me if he knew me now. Would he like me? Would we be friends? What would his life be like?

I’ve lost two immediate family members because of cancer. I’d like to be able to honor them, and benefiting cancer research and/or other people who are affected by cancer would do that.

There are lots of ways I can do this project. The thing is, though, because I decided to take the project to a whole new level of personal, this now means so much to me that I want to get it right. I’m trying to figure out how I can really make the donation war work, or even whether another option might be the most beneficial. Currently, the donation war idea is my top favorite, but the key to making the donation war work will be finding guys who can bring a lot of energy to the donation war. How can this project reach guys like that and get them involved? (Obviously you can trust me when I say I’m no expert at finding guys.) Also, how can I bring my very best to the project? I don’t have a huge voice, and only an itty bitty personal network, but I need to ask people to listen to me despite that.

So, I’m working right now to find my voice and make a plan. I want to be able to present something intriguing with a good foundation to a charity so the charity will want to work with me and so the Kiss Chronicles project can be successful and beneficial to it.

With the first kiss, I have only one shot, you know? Of course, there are kisses after that, and who knows what fun possibilities I might be able to come up with down the road, but I’m focusing on the first one for now.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. Anonymous permalink
    August 25, 2011 3:23 am

    Virginia – I am so proud of you! You know all too well that I understand what you have written. Cancer is such a cruel thief with such disregard for anything or anyone! After your Dad died I cried at the drop of the hat for weeks…then I kinda dried up. I understand the pride part too but tears have their place in life…”a time for all things under heaven”. I support you expressing your experiences with cancer and I support your First Kiss proceeds goal sixteen million, billion times over! ❤ Aunt Mary

    • August 25, 2011 12:18 pm

      Thank you for all the love, aunt. I have a lot of work ahead, so I’m really glad to know that you’ll be sticking with me.

      And, just in general, *hugs*

  2. September 21, 2011 6:10 pm

    Hi Virginia. Thank you for dropping by and tweeting with us today on Digital Sisterhood Wednesday. I would love to have you write a guest blog post for Digital Sisterhood Network’s blog during Digital Sisterhood Month in December. It would be about fierce living as it relates to the social good work you do through your blog. Email me on Best, Ananda

    • September 22, 2011 1:17 am

      Hi, Ananda! Thank you so much for peeking into my blog, and I’m already excited for December. I look forward to being a part of the Digital Sisterhood Month. I’m curious about what sort of speakers will participate. It’ll be like blogging Christmas.


  1. BTSN Reviews: KISS CHRONICLES by Virginia Sanders | Below the Salt News

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