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A punch in the gut, every time

November 6, 2011

On Sunday mornings, I have a habit of going to church and then stopping by the gas station convenience store to pick up the Sunday paper and a croissant breakfast sandwich with which to clog my arteries. Sometimes I also get a Krispy Kreme donut. Mmm.

Self-destructive eating habits aside, this morning I went to the station, gathered my goods, and got in line for the register. I stood behind a couple. The young woman had long, straight dark hair, and she made me look like a fashion nincompoop (which I am). The man she was with was also young, had significantly less hair, and was tall. He wore a long coat to complement his height.

As I watched, the man reached over with his left hand to touch the woman’s cheek and push her hair back. Then he leaned in and placed a slow kiss on the other side of her face, at the very top of her cheek bone. She was angled toward me, so I could see everything as she closed her eyes, savoring the long moment. I stared, unable to look away, wishing I could be her. And then it ended, and the world started moving again.

This was clearly an assassination attempt on my life. Someone out there wants to make sure I don’t survive the Kiss Chronicles project. It nearly worked. I felt like I took a sucker punch right to the gut.

You have to realize that, besides just the first kiss, there are so many things I’m missing out on. I want to know what it’s like to have a guy tuck my hair behind my ear. I want to know what it’s like to have a guy wrap strong arms around my shoulders from behind and put his cheek against mine. I sure as hell want that moment when the world stands still because a guy is giving me a sweet kiss on the cheek in an ordinary check-out lane!

I really want to know what it’s like to have a warm hand on my cheek as I’m receiving a kiss.


In conclusion, I have something I’d like to say to the dark-haired girl: I’m doing my best not to hate you for trying to kill me. In exchange for my good will, you’d better appreciate your kisses, or I will hunt you down and mess your shit up!

4 Comments leave one →
  1. November 7, 2011 5:36 pm

    I wouldn’t want to be that girl right now….

    • November 7, 2011 6:40 pm

      She’ll (theoretically) be fine. She appeared appreciative.

  2. November 14, 2011 11:35 pm

    If she closed her eyes while receiving a kiss on the cheek, I have no doubt she was appreciating the attention.

    • November 15, 2011 10:33 pm

      She was. From what I could tell, she enjoyed every second of it. That lucky duck.

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