Thank you, Kiss Chronicles
Approximately five years ago, I began writing the Kiss Chronicles book. The book started as an idea for a short story to generate interest in a project I was struggling to keep afloat. Then I gradually came to the realization that the original project had no fuel left to get it across the finish line With that realization, I reached my lowest point. I found myself smothered by a blanket of regret that I had failed, disappointment that I wasn’t as strong as I thought I was, and embarrassment that I had made such a publicly visible miscalculation. And even with all of those negative feelings, I couldn’t let go of my determination that I had to complete the project one way or another.
I couldn’t be satisfied if I didn’t bring the project to some sort of conclusion. So I asked myself, what can I do? The instant, obvious answer was, “Write.”
I pivoted and decided that I could make the writing into the project. I refocused the negative energy into positive action. The exhaustion I felt no longer mattered because I had a vision for how I could complete Kiss Chronicles. I worked through.
Several months went into the first draft. Even more months went into editing and refining to get to the completed book, as well as work collecting and critiquing short stories written by friends. I continued to try to maintain the Kiss Chronicles social media efforts. Then, at last I finished the book, formatted it, and packaged it for public consumption. In March of 2013, more than a year after I began writing, I published the Kiss Chronicles book. For about half a year following publication, I put time and energy into trying to spread the word and share the book.
And then the exhaustion caught up to me. Everything slowed down . . .
And. I. Stopped.
I stopped trying to find an audience for the book. I stopped paying attention to the social media work.
But I took it further than that: I stopped writing at all.
I decided to let myself rest, to let myself recoup my energy. I had a vague idea that if I let myself recharge, I could re-address Kiss Chronicles and bring it some sort of satisfying peak of achievement.
The more I rested, though, the more reluctant I felt to ever return to Kiss Chronicles. Though I had pushed it across the finish line with nothing but determination, it still felt unfinished in some ways. So I lived on in a state of uncomfortable balance between the desire to move on and the desire to give the project a more fitting climactic ending.
Recently, I committed time to some soul searching, and I’ve decided that I’m ready to declare it done and move forward. Kiss Chronicles is a dream that I am putting to bed so that other dreams can flourish and receive my full focus.
Although the project had its struggles, I want to wrap up by focusing on the gifts I received that I will treasure:
- I self-published a book for the first time — definitely a personal milestone.
- I had the pleasure to meet so many new people through Kiss Chronicles, many of whom have become friends for life.
- I think by the end of it all, I gained a little perspective and maybe a smidgen of wisdom.
- I chased my dream. I learned more about just what it takes to chase a dream. Next time I will chase it and lay out booby traps to capture it.
Thank you, Kiss Chronicles, for all that you gave me.
The book, blog, donation site, and other social media for Kiss Chronicles will remain online. There may be future updates . . . to point to whatever my next project may be!